These 9 Things Will Keep The Doctor Away

Everyone knows the old saying, “An apple a day keeps the doctor away,” but what’s important here is this: to make it work, you need to have one EVERY day.

I SCREAM. THE END.

The Fresh Baked Apple Pie from Black-Eyed Sally’s is served warm in a mason jar with vanilla ice cream and whipped cream. This is the kind of desert you want to eat every day for the rest of your life, and then sneak one into the afterlife with you in your pocket. If you’re not dining in, I guarantee that the “Plastic To-Go Container Fresh Baked Apple Pie” is just as ridiculously delicious.

BEAUTY IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEE HOLDER

There’s a lot of really yummy, healthy stuff you can get at Juiced Up, but the Energy Bee with apples, carrots, ginger, honey, and ginseng is just what the doctor* ordered. Bonus points for being able to say stuff like, “Honeycomb over here and try this,” or “Now I get what all the buzz is about” or “Could this drink BEE any better?” while you’re drinking it.

*not a doctor

FRITTER ME THIS, BATMAN

APPLE FRITTERS WITH CIDER SAUCE. IN A BAR. The end.

BETTER THAN BOOP

To eat the Apple Betty at Vaughan’s is to understand that you will have dreams of warm apple crumble with praline pecan maple bourbon ice cream and caramel sauce, topped with irish cream (for good measure) every night and wake up with crumble cravings in the morning.

HOW 'BOUT THEM APPLES?

Prosecco? Good. Tito’s vodka? Good. Apple cider? Good. Ginger beer? Good. Cinnamon sugar rim? Good. All together in one drink? Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood.

I SMELL TEA AND CANDY

Candy. Apple. IN TEA FORM. Raspberry tea, with lime flavored B12, mango aloe, and green apple and cherry flavoring. Guaranteed to give you superhuman energy and strength that will annoy your coworkers, family members, or cats all day.

DOUBLE DUTCH

Step 1: Order two whole Dutch Apple Pies from the Kitchen. Step 2: Pick up your Dutch Apple Pies from The Kitchen. Step 3: Eat one of your entire Dutch Apple Pies on the way home. Step 4: Never speak of this again. Step 5: Don’t talk about Fight Club.

TOLD YOU WE'D GO APPLE PICKING

We all know Hog River Brewing makes some hella good beers, but when you’re there picking up a 4-pack of the Columbia Cream Ale with Blood Orange, or the Glitter Party DIPA, you can also go apple picking (kinda). They’d be happy to pour you a pint or a growler of the Fresh Blend Cider from their friends at The New England Cider Co. You know – because apples are healthy.

EXPRESS YOURSELF

No apples were harmed in the crafting of this cocktail. JK – somebody had to crush hella apples to make this drink taste so good. Not only is Artichoke’s “New England Express” Apple Rum Cider available to go, it’s vacuum sealed so you can carry it around in your pocket for emergencies.